This Lakewood family photographer is going to attempt to speak about what has been revealed over the past 11 years. What wonders motherhood has brought my way, and how transformative motherhood has been.
It’s fascinating the idea that we all have of motherhood before we even become mothers. We say we’re going to be this way or that way when we have kids. We’re going to do all these specific things and this utopian vision arises.
Then we go into labor, or not… And all of the ideas go out the window along with that birth plan that we were told was only an outline, a set of intentions and most optimal choices to be set forth to guide us as the hormones completely remove our brains.
Then, we’re holding that little one for the first time, and we each have our own experience of that. It may have been the joyful experience you hoped for, and it may not. Even in adoption, there’s the moment you finally get to be with that child that you fought so hard for.
The next few days, months, and years have all of their own unique experiences and moments all wrapped up in little bows and boxes.
You might get a few that are exactly what you’d hoped for. Others might have some sort of poison hidden in the bow. Others might explode when you open them.
Then there may be a few with a mystery inside that rivals the magical objects in “Harry Potter.”
Whatever your experience may be, motherhood is wrought with wonder. Here’s my list of the wonders this role has revealed to me. After reading, if you find that the magic you’ve experienced isn’t in this, please share with us all how motherhood has created more wonder in your life! I’d love to hear your stories!
The Miracle of it All
We’re so used to seeing pregnant women all around that it isn’t even a thought any more about how freaking miraculous it is to grow a human being inside of you. You don’t even have to THINK about it. It just happens.
And every time I think about it, I remember my friends who have had miscarriages or stillbirths. Without being insensitive, that is also quite amazing. The body is an astounding thing that works in so many mysterious ways to stay alive and propagate.
With permission from one friend I speak of, she has mentioned that she still marvels about how the child she carried until 30 weeks made it as far along as he did. A two vesseled cord, non-functioning kidneys, calcification inside the heart, and this little guy kept plugging along until he couldn’t anymore.
The emotional impact of stillbirth and miscarriage is deep. It’s one that doesn’t get shared and is more common than most people would consider. This journey into motherhood is like stepping into the void with only hope to guide your way.
Knowing this makes having a baby fully develop inside of you with or without complication a marvel.
THEN you get to FEED the baby once they’re born!!!
WHAT?!?!?
Yup. With all the research into the miracle of breastmilk (in all that is holy, this stuff is AMAZING) science is learning that science-made is not actually better. Um, hmmm, ya didn’t say…
The second half of that miracle? Actually being able to breastfeed and sustain your kiddo. All of my lactation friends would agree, this isn’t as easy as you would expect.
Another moment of acknowledging the wonder of the female body. Not all of us can have kids, and even of those of us who can, not all of us are able to breastfeed. This isn’t about choice as much as it’s about how our bodies do and do not function.
Every step of the way there’s the possibility of it not working out. We could jump to the last one on the list right here and skip all the others, because becoming a mother is literally an act of surrender.
Seriously. This is insane. With all of the scientific discoveries and inventions, we as women are designed to take the moment of creation and bring it fully into the world and sustain it. There’s a lot of pressure to make that happen. And a lot of societal shame when it isn’t perfect.
I don’t think I fully understood the gravity of that until I experienced it. Becoming a mother, no matter the route, is creation in its most fundamental form. And as women, we have the opportunity to understand all aspects of it first hand.
The Element of Surprise
Yes, you read that correctly. How many moms, by a raise of hands, can attest to experiencing more levels of surprise possibly in the first year of motherhood (more likely the second or third, let them start walking and exploring) than in any other time in their lives?
All of you?! Yup, I do have eyes in the back of my head, X-ray vision, and I am most definitely all-knowing.
When you first caught the poo smell as you heard your child happily waking up from naptime and knew you needed to change a diaper, only to find that they already got the diaper off and made it into a paintbrush.
Surprise!!
The realization that your kid is way more observant than you ever gave them credit for as they used the paint key to open the partially closed paint can and proceed to hand paint walls that didn’t need fingerprints or smeared accents to make your home more “homey.”
Surprise!!
Just when you’re starting to trust that falling into deep sleep is safe for everyone in the household, you hear the pitter-patter of the child-sleepwalker moving about the house, then the click of the back door opening…
Surprise!!
Yes, the element of surprise is a true wonder of motherhood (fatherhood too, but we’re saving that for next month). And yes, I want you to comment and share your most memorable surprise moment!
Living Without Sleep
You may have done this in college and still passed all of your classes. I’ll give you credit for that, as it might help you prepare for this level of zombie life.
One of the number one things your care provider will tell you, at least I hope they tell you, is that there is a miracle number of hours you need to sleep. The number is 4. Anything less than this, and all functioning is shot. More than this, and again you are experiencing miracles and blessings all around.
Realizing this magical number was profound. There truly is a difference that I cannot scientifically explain that happens when you get four consecutive hours of sleep in those first few years (and any year after, really).
I got the chance to talk with a sleep consultant this month, and there are definitely options to support better sleep in the household. The wonder is that moms have done this for millennia without sleep consultants, and our species keeps on going!
HOW did they DO THAT?!
Kids become the alarm that you actually want to snuggle with, put your nose in their hair, feel the warmth of their little bodies for just one...more...minute. You can live without sleep when the benefits give you moments like that.
Imagination
If you’ve ever wondered how moms do it day in and day out? It has a lot to do with stepping into imagination.
Your kids have the most amazing talent to see and experience things that don’t even exist. They’re completely wired to explore and have curiosity about their environment.
When that happens, the magic starts to appear. It’s when we tell them they have to color INside the lines that it starts to go away.
Why I consider imagination to be a wonder of motherhood, is that we get it back when we let it. We get to see the world through our kid’s eyes, and the sparkle starts to weave its way back into our minds.
Everything becomes new, or they show us something about a blank piece of paper that we never would have considered.
Or that diaper becoming a paintbrush gives us a great idea for using clean diapers for art projects, or to clean up massive spills that “Brawny” doesn’t have the brawn to tackle.
Businesses that don’t hire moms who’re reentering the workforce have no idea what they’re missing out on when it comes to creative problem-solving. Once our brains turn back on again, we’re on fire more than that eager college student with an ego the size of the worst poopy diaper you never wanted to clean up.
Surrender
The 5th Wonder of Motherhood. Saving this one for last, because it’s the biggest one.
No one ever said this was going to be easy. We all went into it with the expectation that our kid and our parenting would be different from everyone else. That somehow we’d have it more figured out than all the stories and movies.
Well, there’s a reason all those stories and movies exist making fun of parenting. I heard once that anxiety is the fear of losing control. What happens when we lose control? Does the world really stop?
Does the sun not come up?
Do all the other mothers in the toddler music class shame you with their eyes when your kid does something that is just slightly off-kilter?
Will your mother come around to tell you how horrible you are for making the same mistakes she did?
Will you lock your keys, your kid, your cell phone, and the baby bag in the car?
You know, any of these things may happen. And the best part of it, is that you’re still an awesome mom. Your kid is still an awesome kid. And you’re human.
Being a parent gives you the opportunity to surrender to being human. To accepting your faults, learning how to tell someone to shove their judgemental shame eyes in the diaper pail, and to ask your partner for a massive hug, bouquet of flowers, or the chance to go to your favorite place and stare in awe at the beauty around you without worrying if your breasts are leaking milk hearing the kid next to you cry.
Surrender doesn’t mean failure.
Surrender is giving way and allowing life to unfold.
It’s about being present. Knowing the mental list ticking away about everything you, and only you as a mother can keep track of, isn’t going anywhere, and that yes, you can ask for help.
That little piece that was mentioned just before this one. Yup, that part about imagination… That little nugget is actually one of the best parts of surrender. See, when you surrender, that imagination thing really kicks into high gear and gives you ideas on how to check off that mental list without going insane.
Think about it for a moment.
And while you’re thinking about it, give me a call. Let’s get some pictures of you and those crazy kids. Let’s let their imagination unfurl and give your Mother’s Day pictures some pop. Let’s spend some time together, mom to mom, and find the magic in your eyes.
Happy Mother’s Day
Cheers!
~Kim
Schedule your Mother’s Day Photo session today!
Gift certificates available to give to your mom or mother figure in your life. Or, let’s go ahead and plan a photo session and you can surprise her with portraits! Well, give her a little heads up that she should do a little hair and makeup. It’s Spring time in Colorado and the green grass is coming through and the buds are starting to show on the trees. The next month of May is perfect for a Spring photo session with mom!
Here is a link to a BEAUTIFUL BLOG tribute to lots of moms to GET IN THE PICTURE that I wrote earlier this month.
If you need a few more ideas on why motherhood is so amazing, here’s an article I really liked that shares a few quotes from moms like you. “18 Moms Describe What It Means to Be a Mother”
This peek into Kim’s world was brought to you by Emily Kamala. Emily is a freelance writer and life coach who loves to share stories, write blogs, and experience life so fully she has to bring it to life on the page. If you’re interested in reading more of her work, you can visit: ConsciousLivingLLC.com
Kim Morgan has brought her passion for connecting and telling stories through photography to life. Her ability to put you and your family at ease is so palpable you don’t even realize she’s behind the camera getting those precious moments for you to carry with you many years later. She lives in Colorado with her husband, son, and dog, where they enjoy exploring the mountains and laughing at every opportunity. Her website is KWDesignsPhotography.com to see her amazing work and set up your session!