Getting Mom in the Picture | Mother’s Day Portraits | KW Designs Photography
It seems that after the pregnancy pictures, moms tend to step behind the camera rather than in front of it. When I looked back at the pictures that I had of the first few years of my son’s life, I rarely saw myself in them.
A lot of moms are ok with this. Maybe they’re fearful that they don’t look a specific way, or they’re yet to bounce back from having their kids and no longer have their pregnancy glow. Or there’s the idea that they need to look a certain way to be considered a “good mom.”
Fact is, most moms are exhausted from juggling everything that needs to be done. This is not just a mental to-do list, it’s life in general. You’ve had to adjust to another full-time human in your life that demands more from you than a full-time job to survive.
There’s a lot of sacrifices that begin to happen throughout parenthood. Most moms will tell you it starts with a lack of sleep, then begins to creep into the way we eat, the way we move, and the way we play with others.
In the last ten years, the parenting and the baby industry has exploded. We now have parenting coaches and dedicated forums to helping parents through every stage of trial. Which I have to wonder if it ever gets easier so much, as it just shifts?
Why would a mom want to have pictures taken of her when she’s just getting by? When all she wants is to make sure the life of her child is documented as best as possible? Kids change a lot over the years and we have to be able to see those changes!!
Who wants to see the parents that are doing their very best to make sure those kids are dressed and fed? To see their frazzled hair and the crazed look in their eye that creeps in every time they want something done a specific way?
I love my mom pictures
The reason to be in pictures that most moms most likely forget is that seeing themselves laughing, playing, and thoroughly enjoying moments with their kids helps to boost esteem and recover positive memories.
That crazed look isn’t there as often as you think it is. There are moments when the world falls away and it’s just you playing with your kids. And nothing else matters.
As a new parent, you may hear that those first few years go by so quickly that being able to remember the best parts is not likely going to happen without a few pictures or written words to remind you. We all get the pictures of the baby first sitting up, rolling over, reaching for their feet, etc…
How did mom feel during those moments? Did we capture her joy and excitement? Was she passed out on the couch? Did you capture the drool?
Some of those pictures are the best moments because they’re so real.
I love my mom pictures because of this reality. This moment in time that was caught where I’m glowing again, even if I didn’t take a shower that week.
And it’s not just in those first few years. What happens when moms are so used to being out of the pictures that they simply forget to get back in?
You have school pictures, kid’s birthdays, holiday pictures, and the occasional family photoshoot. How many of those actually include mom? The family or holiday shoot is really it, and then sometimes the chosen one is just the kids pulling each other around with an oversized candy cane.
Moms in the picture, or not
I’m not sure if mom’s being out of pictures comes from the Victorian Era or not. There’s a whole subset of pictures that are called “Hidden Mothers” where it’s explained that mothers were hidden under a sheet during pictures to keep kids calm during the long exposure time of cameras back then.
Another explanation was the desire for the viewer of the picture to connect with the child only. This explains what may be happening today as well. We assume people want to see how the kids are changing, not the parents.
When we take ourselves out of the picture, so many things are happening. And ask yourself if you can relate to any of these things, or possibly see them in a friend.
Effects of Mom Not Being in Pictures
Constant pictures of your kiddo and posting on social media may be a sign of depression, perfectionism, and a need for external validation.
While children grow, so do we as adults. In a society that validates “youthful appearances”, notice if you have shame about the way you’re continuing to grow.
Photographs bring families together with shared memories. If mom isn’t in the pictures, it will be noticed and missed. It’s not about how her hair looked that day, it’s knowing she was part of life and growing up.
You don’t get to see your own joy and experiences as a mother. Being able to reflect on moments of joy helps during times of struggle. Seeing yourself happy can help.
As a mother, you shape your child’s self-image. If you have shame or the desire to not be seen, this gets passed down to your kids.
Pictures of Motherhood
There are so many beautiful pictures of motherhood that you can find online. Being able to do so creates this idea that you need to be perfect, or be seen as perfect in this journey.
To be honest, it’s not perfect. Just go to a busy grocery store or your local box-store and you’ll hear a baby crying with a parent that can’t console her, or kids running around like they own the place and a parent so exasperated you can tell they’d leave if they could.
This is reality. I know you don’t want to look back on pictures like that. I have to ask though, what happens when you allow those moments to happen?
When you begin to “choose your battles” and allow your kids to be kids, you also soften the reins on yourself. Creating allowance in parenting is shown to build trust and self-esteem in kids.
What happens to you when you do that? Does it give you more room to be playful with them? Does it allow you more breathing room to think about other things? Does it give you the space to do the things that make you feel good?
What does motherhood look like to you in your mind? It may not be what you find on social media or mainstream media either. If you remember the TV show “Married with Children,” you may have some interesting ideas of what parenting looks like!!
The best parts of the movie “This is 40” happen when we’re able to laugh at the reality of parenting. You can have your own photo album of these hilarious memories to bring laughter and connection to your family as the years go by.
Mom in the Professional Pictures
What I see a lot of times with professional family pictures are the moms who want them to look a very specific way. For them to be posed and idyllic.
While those pictures do look really great and we get to see everyone’s faces, they don’t represent the reality of your life. I don’t poo-poo them, by any means! They’re great to have.
What I want you to think about is the amount of stress it causes to have perfection. I can capture these photos really well, and the best ones usually come out of everyone moving around candidly.
Did you catch that part?
When everyone is moving around the way they want to, I can most often times, capture the picture you want that looks posed. Only this time, the smiles are genuine, the connection is pure, and it all works out beautifully.
One of my favorite sessions was a family that I captured while reading a children’s book to the two kids. It’s a beautiful representation of everyone together and it looks like something for a magazine piece.
If both parents are able, it’s great to have them both. If you’re a single parent, it’s even more important to get pictures with your kids.
Single mom photos are even more rare and to have the professional touch is something that will be treasured. Single parents don’t have another person to capture them with their kids, and selfies aren’t always the best.
Having professional pictures that show the gratitude and love for the time you have with your kids is one of the most treasured items for a single parent.
Mommy and Me Color POP
Every year around Mother’s Day, your local photographers are likely doing some form of Mommy and Me photos. It’s no surprise that we at KW Designs Photography are doing the same here in Lakewood, CO.
I’ll be set up in our studio with what I call the Color POP background through May to capture you and your kids and celebrate you. The background is a fabulous Black and White velvet and canvas piece. We added in a bright green grassy plant, clear chair, and fun, colorful flowers. Moms and kiddos are asked to dress in BRIGHT COLORS, so you can shine. Think of what these will look like printed and framed or on canvas. Oh, I just LOVE the colors! It’s a really FUN set and I can’t wait to see the color you pick out for yourself and your kids!
Come as you are, be yourself, play with your kids, and even nurse them if you need to. These beautiful pictures are meant to capture motherhood and how you show up in it. Appointments are 20 minutes long and are easy to schedule, just email me! $99 for our April COLOR POP special and 8 digital images are delivered online. Digital gallery upgrade to get all of your photos for just $75 more. Come on, that is a STEAL of a DEAL for some fun, colorful, and fabulous pictures with you and your kids.
Let’s make this happen and start building the memories of who you are at this stage of motherhood. Life is precious, and who knows what next year will bring. In fact, bring YOUR mom along if you can, and let’s make this multi-generational.
To schedule your time slot in April and May to have photos ready before Mother’s Day, send an email to kwdesignsphoto@gmail.com with Color POP in the subject line. That will tell me to respond right away, and that you read all the way down to the bottom of this blog. That means a lot to me, and I’m grateful you’re here.
Check out the set with Grace and Summit below! Looking forward to seeing you in April!!!
~Cheers!
Kim
This peek into Kim’s life was brought to you by Emily Kamala. Emily is a freelance writer who loves to share stories, write blogs, and experience life so fully she has to bring it to life on the page. If you’re interested in reading more of her work, you can visit: ConsciousLivingLLC.com
Kim Morgan has brought her passion for connecting and telling stories through photography to life. Her ability to put you and your family at ease is so palpable you don’t even realize she’s behind the camera getting those precious moments for you to carry with you many years later. She lives in Colorado with her husband, son, and dog, where they enjoy exploring the mountains and laughing at every opportunity. Her website is KWDesignsPhotography.com to see her amazing work and set up your session!
Article resources that we used to make this blog:
The dark reason new mothers share photos of their kids on Facebook
Moms Who Always Post About Their Kids More Likely to Be Depressed Perfectionists